sappy post

I usually try to keep our blog pretty light hearted, but my hormones are raging and it is baby week on Discovery Health, so I am feeling pretty sappy.
I might complain about pregnancy, but I wouldn't give it up for a million dollars. Some of you know that we had a really hard time getting pregnant the second time around. I went through the fertility tests and hormone monitoring and then we finally got pregnant on our own (1 week before starting medication). We lost that baby about 8 weeks into the pregnancy and then immediately got pregnant again with Landry...that is the reason we aren't 100% positive about a due date. I don't know why I just dumped all that out, but for some reason it all serves to make this pregnancy extra special (and extra long).
I realized yesterday while watching a Medela commercial (they make breastfeeding supplies) that I am most looking forward to breastfeeding Landry. With William I was nervous from all the horror stories and worried that I wouldn't be good at it and then after he was born I was always worried that I was wrong for not feeding him on a strict schedule. I worried he wasn't getting enough (even though his weight was the 100th percentile at every check-up). I worried about how long I should nurse him. I worried about what people thought when I had to nurse him somewhere semi-public. It all worked out and he quit nursing on his own time when he was about 17 months old. I didn't realize how much I missed it until now. There is something so special about that bond. This time I am not worried about any of it.
I feel so differently about everything this time. I am confident that labor and delivery will happen on my body's terms. I am confident that God designed my body for this purpose and it knows how to do this without a doctor or medication (but I am also confident that I will be in a great hospital if Landry or I need help). I am confident that I will not be strapped to a bed, monitors, iv's, and fighting my doctor on a c-section for 24 hours straight. I am confident that I will be able to breastfeed and that it is fine that I don't schedule feed. I am confident that it is okay that I hold/wear my baby constantly and let her sleep in my arms. I am confident that the world will not implode if she sleeps in my bed with me for a few hours. I am confident that I know what is best and I do not have to rely on someone else's idea of what is right and wrong in baby rearing. I wish this sense of peace and confidence could be handed to every new mom. I think it is a much better way to enter labor. No fear. No worries. Just excitement about all the wonderful things to come!
P.S. The post before this is new too and VERY exciting!